Growing up as a Browns fan, I learned that the only way to maintain sanity is to stay a little delusional. “Reality” and “common sense” might tell you that we aren’t winning more than four games this season, but I have complete confidence in this team. People don’t realize that last year was a fluke – and that it won’t happen again. Nobody remembers that we were projected to win eight games by most sportsbooks and analysts, but were plagued by injuries and poor QB play. That talent that everyone was so high on last offseason is still on this team, which is why the upcoming season will look and feel a lot closer to 2023 than it does to 2024.
Week 1: vs. Cincinnati Bengals – W (1-0)
The Bengals have one of the most explosive offenses in the league, sure, but their offensive line is atrocious. Our defensive front of Garrett, Graham, Collins and Wright will have Joe Burrow running for his life before any of his receivers get a chance to get open – and even if we don’t get pressure on a play, Denzel Ward is the only cornerback in the league who can stick to Ja’Marr Chase like glue. We’re going to disrupt their two best players all game, and their offense will be in shambles.
Defensively, the Bengals are horrible – probably because they can’t afford to pay anyone good when half of their salary cap is used up on three offensive players. Our offense might not be the most polished in the league, but we’ll hold up easily against the Bengals. Trey Hendrickson is good at getting sacks, but he’s a practice dummy in the run game and barely practiced all offseason. I’m not moved by the fact that he’s returning, and I’m expecting a big game from both running backs (Ford and Sampson) and from David Njoku.
Week 2: @ Baltimore Ravens – L (1-1)
There’s not much to say here, really. They’re one of the best and most well-rounded teams in the league and we have to travel to their stadium. It’s not an easy game – I’m never counting out Flacco, but we’re probably picking up a loss in Baltimore.
Week 3: vs. Green Bay Packers – L (1-2)
The Packers had a top-five defense last season that only gets better with the addition of Micah Parsons, and I am definitely worried about how our offense matches up – I don’t think we’ll be scoring many touchdowns on September 21st. I do think that we’ll be able to limit their offense a lot, but not as much as they can limit ours. Our first home loss comes to Green Bay.
Week 4: @ Detroit Lions – L (1-3)
I really wanted to call this a win for Cleveland, and I still think it can be. The Lions lost both of their coordinators and have a very tough schedule – they won’t be nearly as good as last year. That being said, they’re still better than us – and we pick up our third loss in a row in Week Four.
Week 5: vs. Minnesota Vikings (London) – W (2-3)
They have a top-two receiver in football, they have a great head coach, and they have a very solid defense that’s great at forcing turnovers. But I’m not moved. I get that Kevin O’Connell somehow made Sam Darnold look like a great quarterback, but there’s just something about JJ McCarthy that makes me hesitant to have any faith in him at all. He also plays one pretty solid-at-best defense and two bad ones in his first three weeks of the season (against the Bears, Falcons, and Bengals) before he faces his first real test against the Steelers in Week 4. JJ is going to get absolutely traumatized by TJ Watt the week before our matchup, and when he sees that Myles Garrett is even better, he’ll be too scared to play good football. McCarthy will be seeing ghosts and the Browns will win internationally for the first time in franchise history.
Week 6: @ Pittsburgh Steelers – W (3-3)
Aaron Rodgers is old and washed up, DK Metcalf is old and in the process of washing up, and Jaylen Warren and Kaleb Johnson don’t scare me in the slightest. Their defense is good, but not good enough to make up for their sorry offense. We pick up a win in Pittsburgh for the first time since the 2021 playoffs and move to .500 on the year.
Week 7: vs. Miami Dolphins – W (4-3)
Miami’s offense and defense are both pretty good, but it’s a mid-October game in Cleveland. Tua (assuming he’s not in a wheelchair by then) is significantly worse at football in cold weather, so the typical Miami high-powered offense will be stalling. Not worried. Next.
Week 8: @ New England Patriots – W (5-3)
The Patriots were the 4th-worst team in the NFL last season, and we improved more than they did through the draft and free agency. Their defense was horrible last year and didn’t seem to get much better at all on paper. And Stefon Diggs skipped OTAs to do pink cocaine on a yacht. Flacco picks up another W and we’ve suddenly won four straight.
Week 9: Bye
If our record is a more realistic 2-6 after the Patriots game, then the bye is likely when Joe Flacco gets benched for a rookie – the second half of the year is much easier for one of the young guys to navigate, and letting a rookie take over on a bye week gives him two full weeks working with the first team offense before making his debut. If we have a winning record going into the bye, however, I don’t see any chance of our veteran QB getting benched unless we get eliminated from playoff contention. In Flacco we trust.
Week 10: @ New York Jets – W (6-3)
Do I think Justin Fields will have a career year reunited with Garrett Wilson in New York? Yes. Do I think that it will be enough to beat the mighty Browns? Not at all. Sure, their defense is very good and probably got even better with the addition of Aaron Glenn (the Lions’ former defensive coordinator) as their new head coach. But it’s still the Jets and the Jets still suck. Easy win in New Jersey.
Week 11: vs. Baltimore Ravens – L (6-4)
This one is at home, so it’s automatically more winnable than our first matchup – but once again, the Ravens are one of the best teams in the National Football League. As much as I hate to admit it, we’re almost certainly getting swept by Baltimore this season.
Week 12: @ Las Vegas Raiders – W (7-4)
I think the Raiders had one of the best draft classes I’ve ever seen put together, which means that they will have a very good team in a couple of years. But most of those rookies need time to develop and the team isn’t there yet. They have three great players in Bowers, Crosby, and Wilkins – and Jeanty by all accounts should be great – but three or four great players is not enough. They’re still the team that earned itself the 6th overall pick in the draft. The Raiders’ entire roster is still full of holes and we’ll win this one easily.
Week 13: vs. San Francisco 49ers – W (8-4)
When healthy, the ’9ers should be great. But there is no chance that their constantly-injured roster will be entirely healthy in Week 13. When we played them two years ago (and their roster was better than it is now), the only player they were missing at kickoff was Trent Williams and his absence was enough for PJ WALKER to beat them. Yes, McCaffrey and Deebo Samuel didn’t play the second half – but we were only down three at halftime. And again, PJ WALKER beat the San Francisco 49ers. If any of their players are out in Week 13 and somebody will be, we will win the game regardless of who our quarterback is.
Week 14: vs. Tennessee Titans – W (9-4)
The Titans were the only team in the league with a worse record than us in our down year. Need I say more?
Week 15: @ Chicago Bears – W (10-4)
Ben Johnson is a great offensive coach and the Bears have a pretty solid defense. We’ll definitely have some trouble dealing with the concepts thrown out on the field, but I don’t think the former Lions’ offensive coordinator will be able to establish the run with D’Andre Swift and Roschon Johnson the way he was able to with Gibbs and Montgomery last year. Even if Chicago is good everywhere else, you can’t win if you can’t run. If I’m wrong and the Bears have a better run game than I think they do, it doesn’t matter. They’re just like the Jets: it’s still Da Bears, and Da Bears still suck. We extend our win streak to four games for the second time this season and get to double-digit wins with three whole weeks to go – practically guaranteeing ourselves a playoff spot by this point in the year.
Week 16: vs. Buffalo Bills – L (10-5)
I might be delusional, but I’m not stupid. The Bills and the Ravens are probably the two best teams in the AFC – we’re not winning against either of them this year unless Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson ceases to exist.
Week 17: vs. Pittsburgh Steelers – W (11-5)
If we can beat them in Pittsburgh, we can beat them in Cleveland for all the same reasons. Their offense doesn’t scare me. We finish our first 16 games with the exact same record that we had at this time in 2023.
Week 18: @ Cincinnati Bengals – Depending on Playoff Picture
If we’re locked into our playoff spot, we’ll throw out a practice squad QB and let the Bengals do whatever they want to him in Week 18 (like we did with Jeff Driskel in 2023). If winning gets us any advantage in the playoffs, though, we win this game for the same reasons that we do in Week 1 and we end the year 12-5.
A record of 11-6 or 12-5 would certainly put us in the playoffs this season. We probably won’t win the AFC North, since the Baltimore Ravens still exist, but it should be enough for second in the division – and if I had to make my prediction now, we’ll beat the Texans in the first round of the playoffs. Joe Flacco will get his revenge for how the 2023 season ended, and we’ll pick up our first playoff victory in five years. Like I said, this year is going to feel more like ’23 than ’24 – but with an even better result.
Photo via Yahoo Sports
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